Last night while I was working in my art journal, I was trying to express the realization that places will essentially always be there, but people won’t. This realization lies so heavily on me because I’ve always thought I was the type of person who needed to live my life beside new places each day, while the people I love are back where I left them. Now, being in a different country away from people I love has made me realize that maybe I’m not the person I thought I was.
Before I left the United States, a good friend from a different state came to see me in Michigan before I moved. She had just moved out of Michigan and was expressing to me that she didn’t care what she did in life as long as she was around the people she loved- everyone she loved was in Michigan and she wasn’t feeling fulfilled because she wasn’t having experiences with them.
That got me thinking: what type of person am I? I thought to myself that I could never stay stagnant and only live my life for the people around me. I thought that lands far away held some sort of answer or treasure for me. I thought I was a wanderer at heart. I thought she was silly- people will always be there for you no matter where you’re at, so why stop your life for them?
Now that I’m thousands of miles away from my best friends I’m starting to realize just what she might have been talking about. What does it matter what great things I’m experiencing if I’m not experiencing it with the people I absolutely adore?
Why do we live in a culture where we find our significant other and then separate ourselves from everyone else we love and only create a life with the SO? Why can’t best friends ever stay as close as they were? Why do SO have to come in and essentially replace best friends, when that’s not how I think it should be? Best friends are not place holders until we find the one we want to spend our life with.
I wish it were easy for four people to live their lives together- my SO and I, and my best friend and her SO. Its hard enough making sure your path always matches up with your SO, so doing so with two other people as well is another endeavor all on its own. I wish it were always socially acceptable to always share an apartment or house with your best friend and whoever she brings along.
I thought that the places I would discover would have some sort of secret to tell me on how to be happy. I thought that traveling was happiness, foreign lands were happiness. Does any of it really matter when you’re not with the person who really matters?